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© Copyright 2018 by Rabih Ahmed

My Struggle with Love Poems

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

 

 

 

I struggle with love poems
My gift with words seems to become dim and frail
When trying to emulate my love story
Onto a page
into a poem
Love poems say shit like
"You are the one for me
And may this love last forever
Im truly in love with you"

And thats not what I'm trying to give

Im trying to help you feel the intense emotions
I feel when he touches me
that spark of faith when our lips touch
The way RnB plays in my head when our bodies lay near
Sometimes this love feel like that black love
Screened on television
Where viewers will only deem it a fallacy
A magical creation scripted behind the scenes

Sometimes this be the love
you cant even be too loud about
you are
usually the only one in a healthy relationship in sight
The only woman whos heart isnt repairing
From abuse
Cleaning itself from the mud the rain created last night
Healing from the traumas men deflect on to women
Thinking an erec-tion is the only thing keeping them leaving
Mentally tieing their minds
So when they look in the mirror
They only hear.. See.. Feel ... Heal YOU

And I especially
Dont want to be the friend thats like
"Yall gotta find a love like mine"

I'm the friend
That is praying any woman looking finds
That man that is willing to listen on how to love her
Not a man that can only recite Malcolm X like blood
Raise his fist up fighting for the movement
Yet does the same against
The woman with power to reproduce him

But a man that listens
Uses the power of his eardrums
partnered with his vision
To be a student of love
learns how i should be held
Studies to find the secret ingredient in dopamine
To keep that shit bumping in and out of my valves
In and out of my body
Creating an intertwining connection so divine

That when I am with you
i feel whole
I feel proud of myself and the work we have done together thus far
Cheers to the thoughts of disbelief
Of whether I was deserving of this
Now
I think of how this love pushes my being passed elevation
This is inspiration
How you make me want to love harder each day
See beauty and demand it wherever I go
And while others dust my love away
You carry this shit with imminent pride

without a uniform
You wear my love stronger than any military personnel saluting to this nations flag
You Toss the strips and Paint the stars all over me
Saluting to the true foundation of this nation
A black woman's body

What you do with this body is a form of worship
An appraisal of this love we share
Thank you for being the man
That broke the wall
Muthafuckers been pushing me to build
With my insecurities and my precious tears
Thank you being a man of your word
A man of empathy and of praxis
You turned this love into a constant form of practice
A ritual of partnership

My professor always said
Listening is a skill
That skill found its way in you
And raptured me in your intellectualism that took place outside of academia
How you take note
Of my laughter
Of my hunger
My emotional inconsistency

Yet you stand there
Take on all the weight of this world
And
Still listen on how to truly love me

 

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